I'm on a boat!

I am writing this from the Viking Line ferry to Turku. Despite my doubts, the check-in and payment was straightforward. The boat itself is pretty nice, and my fears that choosing the cheapest cabin option, and therefore having to sleep with some strangers, seem to be unfounded. I still think the amount of hassle required to book this trip was not reasonable, but I'm glad today was trouble-free.
In 7 hours I will be in Turku! Technically we're still in Sweden right now, but I'm exhausted so I'm going to change my clock and go to bed soon. I've heard a lot of Finnish spoken in the last 3.5 hours, and surprisingly, I can recognise a lot of words and semi-understand, which is nice. I'm
I'm so happy I could cry. I can't wait to get there. I've thought about things tonight, and I realise I understood Finland in a way I don't understand Sweden. Finland is still my home from home, and I can't believe I've been away for over two years. I'm so excited to get there and see my friends!
I've regularly thought that I was much more integrated in Finland, purely because there's less immigration, so almost all of my friends were Finnish, compared to the majority of my friends in Stockholm also being from other countries. It was easier to learn the Finnish way than it has been to learn the Swedish way. My friends in Stockholm are awesome, and I wouldn't have them any other way, but when I moved to Sweden I assumed I'd eventually end up with a group of Swedish friends and I'd be the odd one out. I was wrong.
So far the highlight of my trip, 4 hours in, was getting the Finnish singer in the bar to sing "Olen Suomalainen". He did it and he was pretty good. But I'm sure I have better moments to come in the next few days. I've been tired all week, so despite not having the nicest cabin I think I'm quite ready for bed. Goodnight everyone!

One year ago today...

One year ago today, and I can't believe that already it's so long ago, I came to Sweden to visit Heli, as part of a two week European tour visiting Stockholm, Amsterdam, Barcelona, and a failed trip to Andorra. A year ago if you'd told me that now I'd have been working full time in Stockholm for several months, that I'd live in a part of southern Stockholm I'd never even heard of at that point, I'd have a Swedish phone number and bank account, and would be semi-fluent in Swedish I'd think it was ridiculous! A year ago I went alone to a supermarket here to buy something to eat, and had to look at products with Finnish text on the packaging to be sure of what it was! A year ago I asked Heli to write down for me the Swedish for asking someone if they spoke English, and it took a couple of days of encouraging myself before I even managed to say those three words!

A year ago I was a bit fed up and frustrated with London, and decided a holiday would do me some good and get it out of my system. I didn't expect the opposite effect. I'd thought of how one day moving to Stockholm might be nice, but was not taking the idea seriously at all. I just expected to have a nice few days with my friend here before moving on. But over a few days, starting with National Day, which is this Saturday, I decided that actually I really wanted to come here. And why wait? I felt there was no reason that I had to live in London or England. And by the time I left Stockholm for Amsterdam I was heartbroken to be leaving, and was determined to be back soon. Here I am still.

Things have certainly not gone quite to plan. I rushed, thinking I knew it all about emigrating because I managed in Finland, didn't give myself enough time, and left in September after a few weeks because I really wasn't happy without my boyfriend. I didn't expect to go back to England for a few months, and it was frustrating at the time, but actually it was also a really happy time that I'm glad I experienced.

This time round has not been without problems, but has definitely been more successful. As my boyfriend pointed out yesterday, I have managed. I have made a life. I have a house, a job, and many more friends in Stockholm than I had a year ago. I know more than I did a year ago. It's not been easy all the time, but I've learned a lot.

I'm starting to feel quite ready to leave Stockholm now. It's a beautiful place, and I think an experience like this is always valuable, but Stockholm isn't the one for me. I would certainly still visit in the future, there are many people and places here that I want to see again. I have no definite plans for when I will leave, but I know I don't want to stay here long term. Just like in September, I'm not as happy as I could or should be.

It's strange to think that a year has passed since this all really began. And actually I think that the last year has been one of the most exciting and special years in my life, despite the ups and downs, for both reasons relating to Stockholm and reasons relating to other things. It's not been perfect, I'm not happy all the time, but it could certainly be worse. I'm not sure how much more time I have here, but I'll be sure to appreciate the time I do have until it's over.

Valborg and a glimmer of hope

With the banking situation there is a small glimmer of hope. I looked at ICA Banken, which predictably did not offer an account without providing a personnummer, However, I came across a page (in English even!) on the SEB website about private non-resident bank accounts. There was an email address for enquiries, so I contacted them to see if they can offer something in my circumstances. They have a dedicated branch in Stockholm for non-resident accounts, and although the information on their website is quite limited I really hope it'll be a suitable option for me. It takes a couple of days to get a response, and today is a bank holiday, so hopefully I'll get a reply next week. I knew nothing about SEB and had never considered them, but my housemate told me they have a pretty good reputation.

If they cannot do anything for me then I suppose unfortunately I'll just have to accept these stupid charges from my bank in England, but that's not something I'll be doing happily, and will really be a big factor counting against me living in Sweden. It's really not unusual anymore for people to move between different countries and have interests away from their home countries, so I really don't know why the authorities can't collectively make it easier for people. As much as some people might not like it, immigration and globalisation is a thing.

The last couple of days have not been very nice, and I really can't promise right now how long I will stay in these circumstances. I'm feeling quite depressed. It's just over a week now until my holiday to London, and I think whilst I'm there I'll be seeing how it feels to be back and having a little think about the future.

   

On a slightly more pleasant note, today is May Day, and last night my housemates and I went to see the Valborg bonfire near to our house. This is also a holiday in Finland, but I missed it because I went on holiday to Norway at the time. In Sweden bonfires are traditionally lit to keep away bad spirits, and now it's officially spring. Although the sky looks suspiciously grey outside. The bonfire wasn't the most exciting thing in the world - it was basically that and some food stands in a field, but my housemates said it's more for the children and that the suburban ones like this aren't that big a deal. Still, I enjoyed being able to experience something from Swedish culture. I feel I'm a bit more detached from Swedish culture than I was from Finnish culture in Finland, mainly because my friends here are quite mixed, not just Swedish, and so there's less of an influence on me. It's kind of a shame, as I do want to learn and understand more here, so I'm glad I had the chance to see it, even if it wasn't the greatest spectacle.
Now it's a day off from work, which is something I certainly can appreciate, and I'm looking forward to going out tonight. I've definitely earned a few (many) drinks this week.

Staying still and travelling

Things have still been busy recently, but in more pleasant ways. I was offered an extension on my work contract, so despite the other things that are going on I'm going to stay put in Stockholm for now. It is difficult in some ways, but it's also so nice that I can still continue the experience I wanted to have of living here. Especially as spring is arriving and generally it's getting so much brighter here now.

I'm quite determined to stay occupied, to distract from the more negative feelings that come with staying here, and at the moment I have a few things coming up that I'm excited about. 

Tomorrow I'll be going to Krakow for a week for a work related trip. It's a bit nerve wracking, but I hope it will be a generally pleasant experience. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to explore Krakow, but hopefully there will be some opportunities for that. When I lived in Finland I considered visiting Gdansk purely because there was a direct flight from Turku, but other than that I've never really thought about visiting Poland, plus this only came up very recently, so it's a cool opportunity, and will definitely be an adventure.

I'll be travelling for most of tomorrow, so I have quite a few things I need to do today. Supermarket Art Fair is on today, and I hoped to go but I think it'll take up too much time, so as an alternative, I've found that Stockholm Art Book Fair, which I think is fairly new, is also on today at Spritmuseum in Djurgården, so I'm planning to go to that today. I've had so much going on that I completely missed that it was Stockholm Art this week - a bit disappointing.

The other thing I'm excited about is that in just under 4 weeks I'm going for a short holiday to London! I'm really looking forward to seeing lots of people who I miss, and I'm surprised by how excited I am to actually be back in London for a few days! I think it's a well-deserved reward after a stressful period of time. So although it's not perfect, I feel optimistic for the near future, and I'm going to make an effort to work more on this blog again, and in fact, to generally put a bit more into my creative practices.

It begins...

Where do I start? A few years ago I spent a year living in Finland, and wrote a blog called Frozen in Finland. This was intended to keep my friends in England up to date with what I was doing, but to my surprise my little blog actually became very popular! People all over the world started to read it and contact me, and I made friends in a new country after some readers who lived in the same city contacted me. One of these people in particular is still one of my best friends, and someone who I cannot imagine my life without. It's also really good for me now to have a record of one of the most special times of my life, and to be able to look back on the whole thing.

Now, a few years on since I returned to London I decided to move to Stockholm. This is quite unlikely to have ever happened if I hadn't lived in Finland, as the reason I first went to Stockholm was to visit one of the people I lived with in Finland, who moved here shortly after I left. When I first came two years ago I thought it was really beautiful, and being a larger capital city it reminded me a little bit of London. I came back in June, started to love it even more, and as I have some savings available and felt a bit stuck in a rut at home I decided to stop wasting time and just get on with it. So here I am, and the obvious thing to do given my previous experience was to start a new blog!

At the moment being here is tinged with sadness as my boyfriend has to stay in England for a little bit longer, and this is very difficult to get used to. I arrived yesterday, and other than that problem things are going quite well. I have a temporary room in a house for the next few weeks, living with people from a variety of countries, including England and Finland. Hopefully this situation will help me to make some friends here, as I've come here alone and only know a couple of people here already. It's very strange to go from a place that you're very familiar with, where you have a nice home, a boyfriend, and plenty of friends, to a place that for the most part is unknown, where you have no permanent home, no job, and not much in the way of a social life. I think it's a positive to take a leap like this and try something new, but I have questioned why I'm actually doing this at times.

I spent my first night here at my friend's house, and I think it was a good thing to come here and meet a familiar person initially. Last night was quite quiet as I'd had a pretty massive last night in London with my friends on Friday, and today has mainly been spent going back and forth across Stockholm with a suitcase transporting my belongings to the room I've rented. It's in a lovely shared house with lots of art everywhere, and I'm very pleased to have my own space. It feels much more real now, as staying with my friend yesterday felt more like being on holiday than living here. 

It's a new month and week tomorrow, and it's time to start getting my life in order here. I have a meeting about a job arranged for a week's time, and I really hope that that will work out, it would solve one problem for me quite quickly, and is something I'm very keen to do. Tomorrow I'll be going to Skatteverket to see about getting a personnummer, and will start looking for a more long-term place to live. 

This is my biggest worry at the moment, as I only hear negative comments about the rental market here, and I am concerned about how quickly I can find something, as I only have three weeks in this house. Originally I thought finding work would be my biggest problem, as this was an issue in Finland, and I have been concerned about language barriers. I'm less worried now, as there seem to be a lot of opportunities here for people speaking foreign languages. I also spent a lot of time between my holiday in June and now learning Swedish quite intensely, and since yesterday I've realised how well I've done, as I understand a lot of what I hear people saying, and have been reading advertisements and signs without much difficulty. I haven't had many opportunities to actually speak much Swedish yet, and I am a bit nervous about that, but I know from past experience that I just need to get over it and practice.

Hopefully tomorrow will get me off to a good start, and my time here, however long is may be, will be as happy and enjoyable as my time in Finland was.