Something slightly different

So I've still not hear from either SEB or my UK bank, which is disappointing on both counts. SEB have a dedicated international branch, and as I now have Monday off work ahead of my holiday, but will be in Stockholm still, I should be able to physically go to the bank and get some advice. My bank in England advised it can take up to 5 working days for them to respond. Bearing in mind that there was a UK bank holiday this week, that gives them until Monday to respond to me. I'm travelling on Tuesday, which means they have until Wednesday morning to respond. If not, they'll find me in one of their branches on Wednesday, and they'll be looking at the business end of a very big complaint. Especially seeing as I'll have to pay my rent and be subjected to their huge charges in the meantime.

But never mind that for now. I'd like to concentrate on another new experience I've had since I came to Stockholm, and something that plays a big part in what my life is like here. My job.

Since February I've worked for the European Union. That's new, and the public sector in general is new for me. I realised yesterday that sometimes my workplace feels like a little parallel universe in the center of Stockholm. Compared to living in Finland, I have a much more international circle of friends and acquaintances here. On the one hand I'd like to meet more Swedish people and find it easier to learn about Swedish culture and traditions, but on the other I think it's lovely to meet people from so many backgrounds, and to not feel at all intimidated by people from cultures that are different to my own. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have that mindset. My boyfriend is half Japanese and half German, I am English, and I am proud that our future children will never be ignorant about different cultures.

I've always said that Stockholm reminds me of London in that there is such a diverse mix of people, and when you're in public you can hear so many different languages being spoken, not just Swedish. The feeling that you can get anything or do anything in London, however obscure it may be, is one of the reasons I like it so much, and why I think of it as my home, even though I'm not originally from there. Stockholm is like a smaller, quieter version of that.

People from all over Europe, and the world, work at the same place as me. Throughout the day, even in just one room, you can hear multiple languages. We tell each other about strange things from our countries. As we are in Sweden, Sweden is better represented amongst the staff than any other nation, but overall the majority of staff are not Swedish. Many have worked at more than one EU agency, so a lot of people have moved around a lot. The way of thinking about the world seems to be a bit different. Commuting between countries, having long distance relationships, or living in a different country to your children or family is quite normal, As is a term I quite like, being a "love refugee" - someone who moved to Sweden for the sake of their Swedish partner.

We're in Sweden, so we'll take any opportunity for fika, but the components of our fika cross borders. Today for example we sat around a table filled with Turkish Delight, chocolate from Greece and Denmark, Dutch butterscotch, and German teabags amongst other things, whilst talking about house prices in the UK, Sweden, and Bulgaria. Every day I hear different accents and unfamiliar sounding names. It's not perfect - at the end of the day it's still a day job, not the thing I care about most. I don't bounce out of bed every morning super excited to go to work. But it could be so much worse, and I'm really grateful that I can meet and get to know such a diverse range of people.

I was asked today what I thought about the election. I'm not a political person at all. This was the first time that I actually had the good intentions of voting, just to count as a vote against UKIP and the Conservatives. I assumed I could vote at an embassy, like pretty much every other person I can think of who lives away from their country, but no. When I wanted to register as an overseas voter I had to choose either a postal or proxy vote. Both involved sending an application form to London. My family live far away from where I'm currently registered to vote, so I couldn't think of someone I trusted to vote by proxy for me. I don't see why I should have to pay international postage on an application form and the vote itself, when that is my right anyway, and didn't trust a postal vote not to go wrong. Surprise surprise, an English person I know living in Finland had problems with her postal vote, so my suspicions were correct. I haven't ruled out that it was intentionally made difficult for overseas voters, and in the end it was too much hassle for me. We'll find out tomorrow, but I hope that the people who were able to vote have done the right thing, and not voted for certain parties are racist or intolerant. I know it's a complicated issue, and I know that not everyone has good intentions, but my recent experiences have confirmed in my mind even more that integration between cultures is something enriching, that we should be thankful for.

If Sweden was my boyfriend

Krakow was an experience. Mainly I was working, so there wasn't much of a chance to really explore, but being in a country that is completely alien to me made me realise that Sweden is becoming quite comfortable for me now. Every day I'm surrounded by a foreign language, but it's one that I understand, and it felt strange to see a foreign language everywhere that I couldn't even begin to understand. Obviously it's been a learning process to understand this country, and I'm quite sure I've only reached the tip of the iceberg, but this was the point that I realised how much things here have started to make sense to me, and become the "normal" way for me. But now onto an aspect of living here that I really cannot make sense of, and that really is making me question more and more why I'm here.

I don't actually have a bank account in Sweden. In January I was waiting to get a job and get established here, in February I was waiting for a personnummer, in March I had some personal matters to deal with that were more of a priority, and for much of this month I believed I would be leaving soon, thus making it a waste of time to go and open an account. Having decided that I will stay longer, today after work I finally made the effort to go to Handelsbanken. I chose Handelsbanken specifically because numerous sources, including the bank themselves, state that they offer a non-resident bank account. I'm not sure how that's different to any other bank account, but due to not being able to get a personnummer it's really the only option for getting an account in this country in my current circumstances.

So in I go, armed with ID, copies of payslips, my work contract etc, and immediately I'm shut down and told that they don't offer that service. I asked why their own website, plus numerous other sources, claims that they do if they don't. The gentleman at the bank didn't have an answer for that. He told me there have to be exceptional circumstances, or they have to have an existing agreement with my employer, which of course they don't. I suggested they get someone to have a look at the information they're giving out. He suggested I try ICA Banken. I walked outside and burst into tears.

You may ask why having a bank account in Sweden is such a big deal, let alone something to bring me to tears in the middle of the street, especially when my employer has been happily paying my wages into my UK account all this time. I'm losing money just by being here. Every financial transaction I make comes with a fee. My bank casually takes £6 from my wages every month for accepting foreign money, which is a tiny percentage of the wages, but obviously it adds up over time. Worst of all is that when I pay rent to my landlord, who obviously does have a Swedish bank account, my bank charges me an extra £30, which is a significant addition to the rent.

But this is just one part of a bigger problem. Sweden has no respect for me. Sweden is happy to take from me but gives me nothing back. Sweden makes me feel like I'm not a real person. Every time I think things are going well Sweden takes my hope away. Sweden isn't satisfied no matter what I do. I have a sneaking suspicion that Sweden probably doesn't want me around at all. If Sweden was my boyfriend everyone I knew would be telling me to leave.

I am not, and never have been, an idle person. Coming to this country, my intention was always to find a job, contribute, and basically do all the things that any normal, productive member of society does, the same things I have done throughout my adult life. I worked hard to find a job, and a month to the day since I arrived in this country I was starting a new job. I believe that some of this was down to being in the right place at the right time, but I worked hard to find a job, and other people have been uniformly impressed with the speed in which I started working here, and then found a stable place to live. I like my house and my job, and on the surface I probably appear to be very settled. 

Having a personnummer is the key to everything here. Having found a job, everything I knew suggested that I could then get a personnummer, and then get all the other things like a bank account set up. We know how that turned out, and it became clear in my dealings with Skatteverket that the information you get really depends on who you speak to and what the weather is like that day. Not wanting to recognise me as a resident of this country certainly doesn't mean the government is going to let me keep my money, of course not. I'm not entitled to even join a gym here, but I still get a third of my money taken away in taxes, to pay for the royal wedding amongst other things. I'm very much entitled to pay taxes to Sweden, but that's about the only thing I'm entitled to. Every time there seems to be some way to make my life easier, for example opening a non-resident bank account, the door gets slammed in my face once again, and I'm sick of it. 

I can't help but compare this experience to when I lived in Finland. It's now been about four months, and at this point when I was in Finland I had both a bank account and a social security number, and I gained those things through having a one month part time work contract. Now I've been working full time for three months, and I'm entitled to bugger all. When talking about these problems to Swedish people, I've mentioned how in Finland my employer could only pay into a Finnish account. There was a delay at Maistraati in providing me with a social security number, but they'd confirmed I was entitled to one and would receive one, so my friend took me to the bank and we explained the circumstances. It was no trouble at all, they opened an account for me with a generic number, and told me to come back and let them know my real social security number once I had it. I never actually remembered to go back and tell them. Swedish people laugh their heads off at the idea of such a thing happening in a Swedish bank. And to prove the point, the very first question I was asked today, even after specifying that I'd like a non-resident account, was "Can I see your personnummer?" 

I haven't been to Finland in a while, so I can't say for sure how the situation is these days, but from what I know immigration levels are much lower there than in Sweden. When I lived there everyone I knew, except for one person, was Finnish. I was the novelty act because I was foreign. Attitudes to immigrants, even white European ones like me, were not always tolerant. At the time I felt like the authorities might be deliberately making things difficult. Now the way Finland treated me seems like a dream. If I had had the job I have now in Finland I wouldn't have had a care in the world.

I'm sick of basic things being huge struggles. I'm sick of feeling like nobody cares, nobody wants to help, like whatever direction I go in it still leads to nothing. I'm sick of losing money through necessary transactions like getting paid and paying my rent. I've done everything right, and I've not asked for anything except to be treated like everyone else. And it just makes me think more and more, why am I actually bothering? I could move back to London and get treated like a real human being. There are issues in my personal life that make living in England again a good option, and the way I'm treated by the authorities here does nothing to discourage me. I spend more and more time feeling frustrated and unhappy, and I can't help but feel that I deserve better than this.

I don't give up easily. Anyone who knows me will say that when I decide I'm going to do something it will get done, one way or another. I put in so much work, and effort, and resources to come here. I really, really wanted to come here. But I'm starting to feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. I keep wondering what would be good enough for Sweden. I keep wondering what Sweden actually wants me to do. I hate to say it, but if Sweden wants me to leave then unfortunately Sweden is winning. It's wearing me down, and I don't know if I can keep putting up with this.

On the surface things are good. I have a decent job, a nice place to live, a social life, I can speak Swedish - you'd be forgiven for thinking I've really got my shit together here. In some ways I have. But then this kind of problem comes up yet again and reminds me that my life here is very superficial. I really wanted to come here, but I'm starting to get sick of jumping through every hoop and it still not being good enough. You only have to look online at pretty much any expat forum or website to see that I'm not the only one.

I can remember the exact moment in Finland, after being there for just under two months, when I knew I wanted it to be my home, and I knew that I would do whatever it took to stay. I loved it so much, and I did put up with a lot in order to stay. I love Stockholm, and I like my day to day life in Stockholm, but even after double the amount of time I don't feel that burning love that I had in Turku. I am not eager to leave, but there's only so much I'm willing to put up with in order to stay. And I'm not sure for how long I'm willing to be only half a person.

Staying still and travelling

Things have still been busy recently, but in more pleasant ways. I was offered an extension on my work contract, so despite the other things that are going on I'm going to stay put in Stockholm for now. It is difficult in some ways, but it's also so nice that I can still continue the experience I wanted to have of living here. Especially as spring is arriving and generally it's getting so much brighter here now.

I'm quite determined to stay occupied, to distract from the more negative feelings that come with staying here, and at the moment I have a few things coming up that I'm excited about. 

Tomorrow I'll be going to Krakow for a week for a work related trip. It's a bit nerve wracking, but I hope it will be a generally pleasant experience. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to explore Krakow, but hopefully there will be some opportunities for that. When I lived in Finland I considered visiting Gdansk purely because there was a direct flight from Turku, but other than that I've never really thought about visiting Poland, plus this only came up very recently, so it's a cool opportunity, and will definitely be an adventure.

I'll be travelling for most of tomorrow, so I have quite a few things I need to do today. Supermarket Art Fair is on today, and I hoped to go but I think it'll take up too much time, so as an alternative, I've found that Stockholm Art Book Fair, which I think is fairly new, is also on today at Spritmuseum in Djurgården, so I'm planning to go to that today. I've had so much going on that I completely missed that it was Stockholm Art this week - a bit disappointing.

The other thing I'm excited about is that in just under 4 weeks I'm going for a short holiday to London! I'm really looking forward to seeing lots of people who I miss, and I'm surprised by how excited I am to actually be back in London for a few days! I think it's a well-deserved reward after a stressful period of time. So although it's not perfect, I feel optimistic for the near future, and I'm going to make an effort to work more on this blog again, and in fact, to generally put a bit more into my creative practices.

Recent lovely observations

Things have been busy and stressful this week, so I'm very happy that it's Friday! We've now signed the contract for our flat though, so we officially live there. Although I've been busy I've noticed a few things later that make life in Sweden a little bit more lovely.

1. Bus drivers

I'm used to living in London, where bus drivers tend to be grumpy at the best of times. Maybe the bus drivers in Stockholm are a bit happier in their jobs, but they are so much nicer! Since moving to Högdalen I've been travelling to work using the t-bana and then a quick bus journey, and I've found the bus drivers to have a totally different attitude. Often they say hello to you when you get on the bus, which is totally alien to me. Even better, when they can see you running down the road desperately trying to get to the bus stop in time, they'll actually wait for you! I cannot count the number of times that I missed a bus in London because the bus driver just drove off even though I was running as fast as I could towards the bus - in fact it was a novelty if the bus driver actually was kind enough to wait.

2. Flowers for name days

In the local supermarket there is a small flower section, and I noticed the other day that they have a sign there telling customers the name days for the week, so there's no excuse to forget your loved one's name day. Being from England I don't have a name day, but I still think it's a nice thing.

3. Dogs

This is not a new observation, but there are so many cute dogs in Stockholm. It almost seems like everybody has a sweet little dog. I love pugs, and I've seen so many pugs since I got here. In fact a few ways ago I was walking down the street thinking about pugs (as you do), and a lady suddenly appeared walking two of them. Maybe I just have a weird superpower that allows me to summon pugs. I'm sure that has many useful applications in life. On the way to work this morning I saw at least four lovely looking dogs, including one pug.


This week has certainly not been the easiest, so the little things can make all the difference when you feel a bit down. This weekend I hope to relax and cheer up, and I'm thinking of going to an hour long meditation class tomorrow morning to start the weekend in a calm way. It's easy to get overwhelmed in a new country when you're trying to establish yourself; perhaps I've been too harsh on myself and expected too much of myself. My only comparison to this experience is living in Finland, which turned out amazingly well in the end, and I think it's easy to forget the more difficult aspects of that experience, and the fact that there were so many challenges. Obviously, some of the challenges I face here are different - it's a different time, different country, and different circumstances. Perhaps this week can be a reminder to slow down, accept that it's not all easy when you have a lot of commitments and interests to balance, and keep going.

Balancing act

Yesterday we decided to explore our local area a little more, and went for a lovely walk by a very large frozen lake near to our house. It was so quiet and peaceful, everything so still. This is something I really appreciate about Stockholm after living in London for several years - there are so many quiet places here, even in central Stockholm there are areas where you can just sit in peace, and there's definitely nowhere like that in central London! I feel that Stockholm has a very good balance between liveliness, and more peaceful places. I had a chance to draw some pictures too - I haven't actually gone out sketching in a while, so that was really nice.
In the evening our flatmates suggested going for dinner at a restaurant they like very close to our house, so we did that and it was really nice. The waitress was so bubbly and cheerful, and repeatedly pointed out how young and beautiful I was, which I'm certainly not complaining about!

Since I found a job in this country I feel that balance is my biggest problem. Seeing as most emerging artists are obliged to support themselves with a day job I know that my problem is not unique, and it certainly isn't a new problem for me, it's been a constant issue in my mind since I graduated in 2012. However, up until now I was in London, where I had my life already set up, I had friends, I had plenty of art contacts, I knew my way around, and of course I was fluent in the language there! It definitely wasn't always easy to do everything that I wanted to, but I feel like it's much more difficult for me right now.
Whilst I was looking for work here I obviously had a lot of free time, and it was easier to do everything that I wanted to. Now I work five days a week, which I'm perfectly willing to do, but it obviously takes up a large part of my time. In the remaining time I have to try to fit in making art and looking for opportunities etc related to this, working on this blog and a novel that I'm writing, exploring my new home and getting to know Stockholm better, having a social life, which right now involves more effort because I don't know many people in Stockholm, so I need to make an effort to go out and meet new people, continuing to learn Swedish, and also having time to relax and have a private life with my partner.

Already I've had to really think about what my priorities are. Shortly before I found a job I got involved with a newly established advertising agency, who wanted a few hours of voluntary work per week, and were aiming for this to turn into full time employment for their volunteers in a few months time when they had a revenue stream. This seemed ideal whilst I was still job hunting, and I liked the prospect of this hopefully becoming a more creative day job in the future.
However, it became apparent that this would involve taking part in fairly long meetings on Saturdays, and that's not particularly appealing after working Monday-Friday. As I hadn't even started doing any work for those people, and already was struggling to fit everything in, having another commitment on my plate didn't seem like a good idea. I worried that doing this work to deadlines could mean that my own work would fall to one side, and that is much more important to me than working for free for someone else's benefit. So I dropped this idea, and I'm sure I'll feel pretty stupid if this company later becomes one of the biggest advertising agencies in the world. But I have to make my choices.
Recently I've started to become more efficient in a bid to fit everything in. I practice Swedish online on my way to work; if I have a little bit of quiet time at the end of the day I try to write if I can. I think the secret is trying to fit something in wherever possible - even five minutes is better than nothing at all.

I remember that an American artist I met during a residency in Iceland a couple of years ago told me that she tried to do small pieces of work, because it seemed much more manageable when she came home from working all day and then had to produce something. I've been keeping this advice in mind, because currently the main drawing I'm working on consists of lots of small drawings that will later be connected together to make a large scale piece of work. I think even aiming to work on one of these when I get home each day is a good strategy.
Stockholm is still new and exciting to me, so I'm obviously really keen to visit different areas and see new places, particularly galleries and art spaces that are brand new for me. At weekends it is really tempting to go out and explore, rather than concentrating on work or the more administrative side of my career. Perhaps I should keep in mind that we are not here for a short trip, we have plenty of time to go to new places, and we don't need to see everything this instant. I'm making friends and doing various things to help me meet new people, and hopefully when I have more of an established set of friends here, which is what is starting to happen now, things will be a bit easier. I hope that, as I settle more, and force myself to become more disciplined, it'll become easier to balance everything in my life.
Perhaps I also need to avoid beating myself up for not working or being active constantly, and keep in mind that I also need time to relax. Until I get to a position where a day job is unnecessary I think that this will be a constant issue in my life to some degree. I'm getting there, I'm making friends and art related contacts here, and my efficiency is definitely improving. Maybe I shouldn't expect to be superwoman. I think my life would be easier if we'd stayed put in London, but I'm certain my life would not be happier that way.

An excellent 24 hours

Woohoo! The past 24 hours have been really good for me, but the biggest piece of news - I got the job! I start on Monday, and it's such a relief because this means that the biggest obstacle has been surpassed, and everything should get a bit easier from now on. Since going to Bazaren I've been feeling a bit more negative - there seemed to be an implication from some sides that Swedish people don't trust foreign people to do the job properly, and this worried me a bit, but now I feel so much better.
I'm sensible enough to realise that things will not automatically be easy from now on, but this does make a big difference. I now qualify for a personnummer, and can start looking for a place for us to live. I could have started that previously, but I do understand that not many people will be keen to rent to a couple who've just turned up and have no steady income. Kai is still looking, but having one decent income between us takes the pressure off a bit.The most important thing is that finding this job enables us to stay in Stockholm. After reading about so many negative experiences I did worry that eventually we'd run out of options. I would absolutely hate to have to go back to England, so I'm really relieved. I realise this is just a start for us, but hopefully it's a good sign for our future. I do feel more confident now that we'll be able to build a successful life here.

In my time job hunting I've noticed that Swedish people/companies are extremely friendly and positive in comparison to England - even rejection emails are so pleasant that you almost don't mind! I'm going to be working via a recruitment company, and the two welcome emails that they sent to me were so enthusiastic and friendly that I already feel comfortable working with them. The two staff members I've been in contact with have also both been so helpful and nice. So far this experience has been really positive, so hopefully the job will also be a good experience for me.

On a different subject, the past 24 hours have also been really good for getting involved in art related things here, which as I mentioned is a massive priority for me. We were going to a private view last night at Platform Stockholm, and at the last minute I found out that there was another private view at Färgfabriken, which is just next door. We went to Färgfabriken first, and there were a couple of different shows there. The show that the PV was for was related to the fragmentation and "development" of urban spaces, and in particular we watched a really interesting film about Beirut, and the privatisation of the sea. This was a brand new concept to me, and something that I didn't even realise was possible. I was thinking about it for a long time after we left, and it was striking to see the perspectives of people in Beirut, and the changes that they had observed.
There was also an exhibition of sculptures by Julia Bondesson, and I enjoyed these even more. Each piece seemed to have its own character, these dead pieces of wood seemed to be so expressive. The rough way that the pieces were carved gave them a really interesting appearance. Each piece was very well made - they were rough but simultaneously refined.
I also really liked the way that the exhibition was set out - each individual work was presented in a unique way. Perhaps this factor helped to bring personality to the pieces. I enjoy exhibitions that are experimental in their presentation.
Next we went to Platform Stockholm, where the show concerned the themes of the body, loss, and artificiality. There were some abstract paintings I really liked that to me suggested bodily fluids. I think this is really interesting, as I think most people would associate bodily loss with amputation. 
I really liked the space at Platform Stockholm - I could see my work in that space. I'm really keen to see more shows there and see other possibilities for how the space can work.

Today I went to Kultuhuset to see work by Katrine Helmersson, which I really enjoyed. There were a lot of abstracted images of the body and body parts - I work mainly in portraiture, recently mainly images of body parts, so this was very interesting to me. The style was totally different from my own work, but I appreciate being able to see an alternative perspective. I'm also very into texture, and this show includes a variety of materials and textures, as well as some textile pieces, which are also of particular interest to me. The information about the exhibition mentions the work alluding to themes from Kristeva and Lacan, both of whom I studied in the last year of my degree. Having some understanding of this made the show even more interesting. I was not familiar with the artist before today, but now I'd be keen to see more of her work. 
So it's been a good 24 hours for me, and my only complaint is that many galleries in Stockholm seem to stay shut for extended periods of time. Or maybe I should take that as a positive that there are still so many exhibitions and spaces yet to discover.

The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

My boyfriend and I flew back to Stockholm yesterday, and I'm so pleased that we're back now. I spent a lot of time on the t-bana previously, and as soon as I got to the platform at T-Centralen I felt like I was back!
Again we opted for Airbnb for our initial accomodation. Thankfully I gained experience when I was here in September, and will be staying here for longer. We are staying in Hagsätra this time, an area I'd never been to until yesterday, but I'm actually quite keen on the area. The residents are predominantly Swedish, which is totally different to Rinkeby, but it's preferable because I'd like to integrate with Swedish people. The building and area is more like what I would expect here, and is actually quite pretty. Last night we also met a Swedish cat, which is obviously a positive! Local amenities are much better than in Rinkeby, and although we only got here yesterday I'm fairly happy with our choice, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the area. Soon we'll start looking for a more long term place to live, and I would definitely consider Hagsätra as an option.
Obviously it's much colder than when I was here before. After I left Sweden I found out I'd caught the end of the hottest summer in 70 years! Having lived in Finland I had some idea of what to expect from this time of year, although Swedish people told me that winters in Finland are usually worse than here. I can believe this, as there's no snow on the ground at the moment - it is chilly, but it's pretty much what I assumed for this time of year.
We're going to take the weekend to settle a bit more, as it's all totally new to my boyfriend, and from Monday we'll get back to sorting our lives out. Upon reflection I realised that September was really not the right time, everything about our situation now seems a lot better, and I hope this means that we will be successful. Last time I was here was very helpful as a trial period, it made me confident that Stockholm is where I would like to be, and gave me experience of coping with living here. I'm looking forward to continuing my adventures, and settling here in a way that wasn't possible last time. It's a joy to get out of London again, and I don't intend on being back there anytime in the near future.

A reflection

Tomorrow I'm going back to London for a bit. I have a plan for coming back to Stockholm, and I'm leaving at least half of my belongings here. It's definitely temporary. My original plan did not include this break, but I think it's the best way forward, as I'll be back with my boyfriend and we can plan everything together. Work is arranged for probably January onwards, and I feel that we'll have a strong start.

I don't regret coming to Stockholm now, because it has assured me that I'd definitely like to live here. It's like a quieter, more peaceful version of London, and it's beautiful here. I've seen new areas here, as well as places I've been to before, and I understand more how it feels to live here, even though everything is still really new.

I've met people and made some progress here, so that hopefully things will be easier when we come back. Things will be slightly more ready for us, and there will be more of a plan. I didn't have a particularly strong plan for coming here this time round. I planned very well what to do whilst I was still in England, and thought less about what to do once I arrived in Sweden. If my boyfriend wasn't still in England I think I would have tried harder to sort things out here, but as it is, I'd really start this again together. This was kind of like research and a trial period for me.

I know I can be happy in Stockholm, but this time I haven't been as happy as I know I could or should be, and that is because I'm here alone. I knew fairly little about Rinkeby, the area I've been staying in - I knew it wasn't a particularly good area - and I'm not particularly keen on it. The house I live in is lovely, but very few Swedish people live in this area, and moving to Sweden should obviously include integrating with Swedish people. Added to that, the house I've been living in is completely international, made up of visitors or people new to Stockholm. I don't want to criticise these people, but the situation means I've had less contact with Swedish people than I hoped for or expected. At times it's been easy to forget where I actually am. I don't intend to move back to Rinkeby next time I'm here.

I've met some new people who actually live in Stockholm, and who will be here for the foreseeable future. I feel a bit more connected in Stockholm, and this has been in only a few weeks, so I hope that they'll be more people to come when I get back here. I feel now that I could happily build a life in Stockholm.

I was surprised by how much of the Swedish language I can read and understand, However, before coming here I had no practice actually speaking Swedish. This has been my first experience of hearing and speaking Swedish since I started learning it. I now feel that I should really work on my spoken Swedish, and on understanding others when they speak to me. I'm hoping to find a Swedish person in London to practice speaking with.

Our return in December or January will be long-term. It's a bit of a shame to leave but I think our chances will be better - we know more of what to expect now. Being here with someone else is surely also more pleasant than coming here alone.

So, unless there is something particularly relevant to write, I'll be leaving this blog for a bit until roughly December or January, and I'm sure there'll be lots of unexpected stuff then.

A home in Stockholm

I had a really enjoyable day today, visiting some areas that we could potentially live in in the future. I already had a couple of ideas of suitable places but I've now seen some more. It's easier now that I know where I'll be working, but at least in Stockholm every train runs through T-Centralen, so it's not really difficult to make any journey on the tunnelbana.

Aside from that I already know I'd be happy to live in Södermalm - it's so central and there's so much going on there, it really would be an ideal location to get pretty much anywhere. I've been to Hjorthagen and Ropsten quite a lot, and this is also a nice area, although it's also very quiet and maybe not my first choice. I'm not necessarily expecting the perfect house immediately, and as I've discovered how difficult housing can be here I want to keep quite an open mind. 

As I'll be working in Östermalm I'm concentrating on the red line. My first stop was Gärdet, and I fell in love! There is a huge, beautiful park in Gärdet, and the area was really peaceful and green. It seemed very safe and quite quiet, but is only a few minutes on the train to T-Centralen, and even walking would be an option. The next train station, Karlaplan, is only at the other end of the park.
The blocks of flats were quite beautiful, and I noticed a couple of restaurants etc in the area. Transport would be really convenient, and also I met some people today in Gärdet, so may already know people in the area, which is a bonus. I've just looked on Blocket, and happily, flats are affordable here. I don't want to limit our options, but Gärdet would really be ideal.

My next stop was Aspudden, but I was less impressed here. The area seemed ok, there was a large flea market/boot sale going on, which was nice but the area was extremely busy, you could barely get down the street. I don't know how regularly this happens, or if the number of people was just because of the market, but I think it could get a bit frustrating if it was regularly that full of people. The market was interesting, there was a busker near the station, and there seemed to be a variety of other shops and restaurants. The location is also very convenient, so if it's not usually this packed with people I could definitely consider Aspudden.

Next I went to Midsommarkransen and walked to Telefonplan station from here, so I managed to get a good view of the area. In Midsommarkransen there are some beautiful winding streets, and this really appealed to me. The buildings are very beautiful too, and there seemed to be more art related stuff around Telefonplan. Konstfack is also located here, and I'd really like to do my masters there in the future. Midsommarkransen is kind of strange, as it has some industrial buildings but at the same time is pretty and peaceful, it's another area I'm quite keen on. It would take longer to travel from than Gärdet, but I don't think it's unreasonable compared to London travel times. Rent here is also really affordable.


 The red train line goes overground between Slussen and Gamla Stan, the view is beautiful and I wouldn't mind seeing that every day!

Finally I went to Hägerstensåsen, but I was less impressed with the area around here. There didn't seem to be much to it apart from trees, I found it pretty but a bit dull and it's quite far to travel to T-Centralen. There wasn't anything really wrong with it, I'd live there if there was no alternative, but it's definitely not my first choice.


If anyone can suggest any other areas I should visit before I go to England on Saturday I'm very open to suggestions!

A huge complaint

There is one part of my experience moving to Stockholm that has left a very unpleasant taste in my mouth, and it has nothing to do with Stockholm or Sweden. It is to do with the company I used to send some belongings ahead of me, a company based in the UK called First Luggage. I am writing about this here because I know that this blog is likely to be read, either now or in the future, by people who may be moving to Sweden from the UK, and I feel that this is relevant to anyone considering moving abroad from the UK.

I used First Luggage three years ago when I was moving back from Turku and needed to send some things ahead of me, and I was completely satisfied by their service. I remember that I actually entered the wrong collection date when making my booking, and this was changed without any difficulties at all. The luggage was collected and delivered promptly, and based on this experience I had no hesitation in using them this time. In fact I didn't even consider any other options because I was so confident in using First Luggage. What a mistake that turned out to be!

Heli agreed that my luggage could be delivered to her house in Stockholm, and so I booked the collection, arranging for my case to arrive here the day before I did, and paying over £100 for the privilege. A few days before the collection was due I received a phone call from First Luggage, informing me that the delivery address was incorrect, and that their system was displaying "foreign characters." The person I spoke to did not elaborate on this, and also told me she had googled the address and it didn't exist. I told her that I was quite sure my friend knew her own address, but that I would check with her and get back to them. Heli obviously confirmed that the address she'd given to me was correct, and for the sake of it I decided to google the address myself. It was definitely there.

Heli's address contains some accented letters that don't appear in the English alphabet. First Luggage claim that they can deliver your luggage anywhere in the world, but if their system can't recognise accented characters that surely rules out multiple addresses in Scandinavia, Iceland, Finland, France, Germany, Spain and other Spanish speaking countries, to name a few. I started to wonder if first time round I was just lucky that my address in Finland only contained letters also found in the English alphabet. I also considered that when entering address details on the First Luggage website, you're only able to enter them in a UK format, with the postcode coming last after the city name. This is not how Swedish addresses are laid out, nor Finnish addresses, and I'm sure addresses in some other countries have a different layout too, and I wondered if this might also cause a difficulty.

Anyway, when First Luggage contacted me it was a Friday, and it is unfortunate that the following Monday was a UK bank holiday, meaning it wasn't possible for me to speak to them. I know this is not their fault, and it is just unfortunate timing.

My collection was booked for the morning of the Tuesday, so I called them first thing in the morning to confirm that the address in Sweden was correct. I spoke to the same person as on Friday, who told me she would speak to her operations team and get back to me. I have previously worked in customer service for a well known gift retailer in the UK, and regularly dealt with a number of serious complaints. I really think this has made me more patient and reasonable than the average customer, as I am aware of how much stress and pressure customer service staff are sometimes put under. However, two hours later I still had not heard anything and needed to go to work, so I called First Luggage again. They didn't seem to have made any progress with the issue, and asked me to email the address to them. I did this immediately, and quickly received a reply confirming that the address was ok, they would send me the documents I needed that day, and would collect my suitcase on Wednesday morning instead. I sent two further emails, one asking when the luggage was likely to get to Stockholm in light of the delay, and another asking that the documents were sent to me by 4pm. This was because I did not have a printer at home, as I had mentioned on the phone, and would need to print the documents at work. First Luggage make it very clear that you must print the documents they send and give them to the courier when they arrive. I did not receive a response to either email.

I finished work at 4pm, and still did not have a copy of the documents I needed. I called them yet again, and was promised that I'd receive them by close of business, which was apparently 5.30pm. I was not very impressed, as I would now have to pay to have the documents printed. I informed First Luggage that I was moving abroad, they were delaying me in dealing with multiple other things I needed to do before leaving the country, and that I wanted a partial refund. When I said the whole experience had been ridiculous, the person on the phone actually agreed with me, but she did not apologise, and tried to blame the whole thing on the bank holiday. In regards to a partial refund, she told me "we'll see" once I had received the documents. So that basically meant no.

5.30 came and went, no documents were received, so I sent them a lengthy complaint email explaining what had gone on up to that point. I received a phone call from a different member of staff first thing the next morning, and to be fair to him, he was apologetic and seemed sincere. He had arranged for my luggage to be delivered to their office, so that they could attach the paperwork themselves, and to then be sent on an express service to Sweden so that it would still arrive on time. He told me it would actually arrive the next day, which did not help because Heli had arranged to stay at home on Friday, not Thursday. He told me he'd add a note asking that delivery was made on Friday, and also assured me I'd still be receiving a written response from a manager.

The case was collected and delivered, and I safely arrived in Stockholm. Last week I realised I had not received a response to my email, so I forwarded this to them and chased a response, pointing out that the email had obviously been received and read, otherwise no one would have contacted me the day after I sent it. And then it all gets worse...

Yesterday I found that another week had passed with no response from First Luggage, so I took to social media to air my concerns. Within minutes of posting on their Facebook page, which has over 8,000 likes, they commented that they would look into this as a matter of urgency. A while later I received an email from their Customer Care Manager, who just fobbed me off. He claimed that the initial communication issues were caused by a problem with their phone system. Frankly I find this quite confusing, as I had to call them multiple times and never had a problem getting through on the phone. The problem was that they failed to respond to emails, emails that I know for a fact they received and read. He also provided me with a £25 voucher to use against my next booking. It's an insult to my intelligence that they think I would use their service again after this. I had already told them several times that my previous experience with them was excellent, and that they had completely ruined this.

I replied to this email, informing them that their voucher was worthless as there is never going to be another booking, and that I didn't see what the phone system had to do with the issue. When I worked in customer service we occasionally had issues with the phone system, but this never affected our ability to send emails to customers. Considering that an email I sent on a Tuesday evening was read at about 8.30 the following morning says to me that they weren't struggling to catch up that much. I wanted some honesty, and a partial refund rather than a voucher I would never use, a voucher worth less than a quarter of what I paid for this shambles.

I decided to add a comment to my Facebook post, and discovered that it had mysteriously disappeared from their page! First Luggage clearly are concerned primarily with protecting their image - whether or not the customer is satisfied isn't relevant. I then posted again, specifically pointing out that they had removed my previous negative post from their page, and that I really felt the 8,000 people who liked their page deserved to see a real customer's experience with them.

At around the same time two rather odd things happened that just made the situation worse. First of all, a request to add First Luggage as a contact on Skype appeared. My Skype details are not listed anywhere, meaning that First Luggage had gone searching for my details, and I'm unsure how legal or ethical this is. Secondly, Heli text me and said they'd called her, claiming they thought that was my Swedish phone number. They know it isn't - they called her on that number to check my luggage had arrived, I provided that number at the point of booking, weeks before I even got to Sweden, and have never indicated to them that the number belongs to me. Contacting her when she hasn't even made the complaint is totally unacceptable.

I then received an email from the manager, not addressing anything I'd said, but saying he'd like to discuss the matter on Skype as he doesn't want to send emails back and forth, and also doesn't want to cause me a costly phone bill. I'm very hesitant to do this, as I will then have no evidence of anything that is discussed, and my knowledge of complaints procedure tells me that serious complaints like this should be kept in writing as far as possible. I replied to him telling him exactly this. I'm now waiting to see what happens from there.

If they had just dealt with the complaint at the time I would not be making the fuss I am now, and it's almost like they're intentionally causing more trouble for themselves by acting in a questionable manner. I am so frustrated with these people, and this is honestly the worst experience I've ever had with an organisation of any kind. I'm shocked at how bad their customer service is, and I think my former colleagues would agree that if any of us had acted in this way we may not have had jobs for much longer. I am an intelligent person, and First Luggage will not succeed in fobbing me off.

This morning I looked online for reviews of the company, and it seems I'm far from the only person who has had a negative experience. I'm also not the only one who doesn't get replies to complaints. It looks like I just got lucky first time round, and that using them again was a massive error. I don't want to keep dealing with this, it is no more enjoyable for me than it is for them, but I refuse to let them get away with this. 

The time now in the UK is 10.30am, so they are definitely in their office, and as yet I have heard nothing. I will keep chasing this, perhaps they think they can just make me go away, but what they don't know is that I learned from some very tricky customers and I will not be disappearing without a resolution. I wonder how long this nonsense will get dragged on for...

Remembering why I'm here

The weather is beautiful in Stockholm at the moment, and also the difficulties earlier this week I thought that I should spend some time actually enjoying being here. Yesterday morning someone else contacted me about a job opportunity, so I now have two meetings arranged for the next few days. After that I decided to let myself relax a little bit and remember why I decided to come here.
The website for Time Out Stockholm very helpful advised that a lot of art related stuff is in the area around Sankt Eriksplan, so off I went. It's really important to me to find art galleries and art related activity here, as this is such a significant part of my life. I had planned to visit a specific gallery, somehow failed to find it, but managed to find a large number of contemporary, commercial galleries instead. I visited a few of them, and was really pleased.
When I lived in Finland I particularly liked that I became exposed to work by Finnish artists who I may never have encountered otherwise, and it's the same case here - most of the work was by Swedish artists who I probably would not have seen in England. I saw some excellent paintings, and also some very beautiful and tactile work made using pressed leaves and flowers. The area actually reminded me quite a lot of Vyner Street or Cork Street in London. In London I regularly visit the commercial art galleries in Mayfair, so it's great for me to have found a similar area in Stockholm. Sankt Eriksplan is definitely an area I'm keen to return to regularly.
After visiting the galleries I also found some really interesting shops in the area. Stockholm Retro was really cool, with lots of crockery, ornaments, and textiles from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. The prices were also pretty cheap, so I can see myself visiting that shop again when I need to buy homeware items. I also found a chocolate and liquorice shop. I'm not that into liquorice but I definitely like chocolate, so that's another shop I'm keen to return to. I'm looking forward to exploring this area more in the future.
Doing this really improved my mood, and reminded me of why I came here. Trying to find work and housing, and being separated from my boyfriend, means I've been a bit bogged down and feeling a bit negative. The job side of things is looking fairly positive for now, and although the housing situation here is tremendously difficult, like nothing I've ever experienced before, there are a couple of options with that too. I have a plan B, which is starting to look more and more appealing, and like a more sensible option. Plan B should become clearer later today, and then I can consider my options much more seriously.
I expected finding a job to be the bigger challenge, as I'm still learning to speak Swedish, but this is really not the case. I knew before I came here that there were bound to be difficulties with housing, but coming here has made me realise how bad the situation is.

It begins...

Where do I start? A few years ago I spent a year living in Finland, and wrote a blog called Frozen in Finland. This was intended to keep my friends in England up to date with what I was doing, but to my surprise my little blog actually became very popular! People all over the world started to read it and contact me, and I made friends in a new country after some readers who lived in the same city contacted me. One of these people in particular is still one of my best friends, and someone who I cannot imagine my life without. It's also really good for me now to have a record of one of the most special times of my life, and to be able to look back on the whole thing.

Now, a few years on since I returned to London I decided to move to Stockholm. This is quite unlikely to have ever happened if I hadn't lived in Finland, as the reason I first went to Stockholm was to visit one of the people I lived with in Finland, who moved here shortly after I left. When I first came two years ago I thought it was really beautiful, and being a larger capital city it reminded me a little bit of London. I came back in June, started to love it even more, and as I have some savings available and felt a bit stuck in a rut at home I decided to stop wasting time and just get on with it. So here I am, and the obvious thing to do given my previous experience was to start a new blog!

At the moment being here is tinged with sadness as my boyfriend has to stay in England for a little bit longer, and this is very difficult to get used to. I arrived yesterday, and other than that problem things are going quite well. I have a temporary room in a house for the next few weeks, living with people from a variety of countries, including England and Finland. Hopefully this situation will help me to make some friends here, as I've come here alone and only know a couple of people here already. It's very strange to go from a place that you're very familiar with, where you have a nice home, a boyfriend, and plenty of friends, to a place that for the most part is unknown, where you have no permanent home, no job, and not much in the way of a social life. I think it's a positive to take a leap like this and try something new, but I have questioned why I'm actually doing this at times.

I spent my first night here at my friend's house, and I think it was a good thing to come here and meet a familiar person initially. Last night was quite quiet as I'd had a pretty massive last night in London with my friends on Friday, and today has mainly been spent going back and forth across Stockholm with a suitcase transporting my belongings to the room I've rented. It's in a lovely shared house with lots of art everywhere, and I'm very pleased to have my own space. It feels much more real now, as staying with my friend yesterday felt more like being on holiday than living here. 

It's a new month and week tomorrow, and it's time to start getting my life in order here. I have a meeting about a job arranged for a week's time, and I really hope that that will work out, it would solve one problem for me quite quickly, and is something I'm very keen to do. Tomorrow I'll be going to Skatteverket to see about getting a personnummer, and will start looking for a more long-term place to live. 

This is my biggest worry at the moment, as I only hear negative comments about the rental market here, and I am concerned about how quickly I can find something, as I only have three weeks in this house. Originally I thought finding work would be my biggest problem, as this was an issue in Finland, and I have been concerned about language barriers. I'm less worried now, as there seem to be a lot of opportunities here for people speaking foreign languages. I also spent a lot of time between my holiday in June and now learning Swedish quite intensely, and since yesterday I've realised how well I've done, as I understand a lot of what I hear people saying, and have been reading advertisements and signs without much difficulty. I haven't had many opportunities to actually speak much Swedish yet, and I am a bit nervous about that, but I know from past experience that I just need to get over it and practice.

Hopefully tomorrow will get me off to a good start, and my time here, however long is may be, will be as happy and enjoyable as my time in Finland was.