Getting back into it

We've been back in Stockholm for a few days now, and I'm getting back into it. The weather now reminds me so much of being in Finland, it's not what I'm used to, but is also strangely familiar at the same time. This morning when I went outside for a cigarette I almost felt that I was in Turku again. Although we missed Christmas here there are still lots of Christmas trees and lights everywhere, and it makes Stockholm look even more beautiful than usual.

For the last few days we've mainly been exploring because it's all totally new to my boyfriend, and still very new for me. Today we went for a long walk around Södermalm, and I noticed some galleries and art related organisations to look into further. One thing I'm really excited about is the opportunity to bring my work to a new country, as this has been an ambition of mine for a while now. I have previously sold two pieces to a buyer in Sweden, but I've never actually exhibited here. Aside from obvious stuff like finding a job and a place to live, developing my work here is one of my primary aims.

I am so much more confident with language than I was in September, but I'm still a bit nervous with speaking. I did decide whilst I was still in England that I would just speak and speak and speak as much as I possibly can here, and be prepared to make mistakes or make myself look a bit silly. I think I really need to commit to that now.

One issue that I mentioned in September, and which has come up again, is the very frustrating habit many Swedish people have of replying to me in English as soon as they can hear that I have a foreign accent. It feels quite unfair, because this happens when people have clearly understood what I've said in Swedish. For example, in a bar on Saturday I ordered our drinks in Swedish, the barman picked up two beer glasses and then asked me for ID in English, and told me the price in English. I followed the advice I was given by an Irish man I met here in September, and just insisted on replying in Swedish even though he was speaking English. It kind of knocks my confidence a bit because I start to worry that I'm not clear when I speak Swedish, which in turn makes me more anxious about speaking in the first place.

In the same bar we got chatting to a Swedish man, and my boyfriend asked him if he had any idea why people are doing this. His explanation was that there is only one language spoken in this country, and people like having the chance to speak a different language. Unfortunately that makes it sound like this will be happening for as long as I do not have a perfect Swedish accent or until I have a more confident tone of voice. Maybe I should start speaking with a bit more conviction. If anyone reading has any further advice about this I'm keen to hear it, because I am wondering how my Swedish will improve and how I can gain more confidence when I don't always get the chance to actually engage with others in Swedish. I can read and write quite easily, it's getting used to hearing spoken Swedish and having conversations with others that is my problem at the moment. I suppose the only real way around this problem is to keep learning and persevering.

And finally, tomorrow evening I'll be making a final visit to Rinkeby to collect some belongings I left at my old house. It'll be a bit odd to go there again. My boyfriend has now seen the expression on a Swedish person's face when they hear that I used to live in Rinkeby, so I think he's looking forward to this experience with some trepidation.

The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!

My boyfriend and I flew back to Stockholm yesterday, and I'm so pleased that we're back now. I spent a lot of time on the t-bana previously, and as soon as I got to the platform at T-Centralen I felt like I was back!
Again we opted for Airbnb for our initial accomodation. Thankfully I gained experience when I was here in September, and will be staying here for longer. We are staying in Hagsätra this time, an area I'd never been to until yesterday, but I'm actually quite keen on the area. The residents are predominantly Swedish, which is totally different to Rinkeby, but it's preferable because I'd like to integrate with Swedish people. The building and area is more like what I would expect here, and is actually quite pretty. Last night we also met a Swedish cat, which is obviously a positive! Local amenities are much better than in Rinkeby, and although we only got here yesterday I'm fairly happy with our choice, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the area. Soon we'll start looking for a more long term place to live, and I would definitely consider Hagsätra as an option.
Obviously it's much colder than when I was here before. After I left Sweden I found out I'd caught the end of the hottest summer in 70 years! Having lived in Finland I had some idea of what to expect from this time of year, although Swedish people told me that winters in Finland are usually worse than here. I can believe this, as there's no snow on the ground at the moment - it is chilly, but it's pretty much what I assumed for this time of year.
We're going to take the weekend to settle a bit more, as it's all totally new to my boyfriend, and from Monday we'll get back to sorting our lives out. Upon reflection I realised that September was really not the right time, everything about our situation now seems a lot better, and I hope this means that we will be successful. Last time I was here was very helpful as a trial period, it made me confident that Stockholm is where I would like to be, and gave me experience of coping with living here. I'm looking forward to continuing my adventures, and settling here in a way that wasn't possible last time. It's a joy to get out of London again, and I don't intend on being back there anytime in the near future.

A reflection

Tomorrow I'm going back to London for a bit. I have a plan for coming back to Stockholm, and I'm leaving at least half of my belongings here. It's definitely temporary. My original plan did not include this break, but I think it's the best way forward, as I'll be back with my boyfriend and we can plan everything together. Work is arranged for probably January onwards, and I feel that we'll have a strong start.

I don't regret coming to Stockholm now, because it has assured me that I'd definitely like to live here. It's like a quieter, more peaceful version of London, and it's beautiful here. I've seen new areas here, as well as places I've been to before, and I understand more how it feels to live here, even though everything is still really new.

I've met people and made some progress here, so that hopefully things will be easier when we come back. Things will be slightly more ready for us, and there will be more of a plan. I didn't have a particularly strong plan for coming here this time round. I planned very well what to do whilst I was still in England, and thought less about what to do once I arrived in Sweden. If my boyfriend wasn't still in England I think I would have tried harder to sort things out here, but as it is, I'd really start this again together. This was kind of like research and a trial period for me.

I know I can be happy in Stockholm, but this time I haven't been as happy as I know I could or should be, and that is because I'm here alone. I knew fairly little about Rinkeby, the area I've been staying in - I knew it wasn't a particularly good area - and I'm not particularly keen on it. The house I live in is lovely, but very few Swedish people live in this area, and moving to Sweden should obviously include integrating with Swedish people. Added to that, the house I've been living in is completely international, made up of visitors or people new to Stockholm. I don't want to criticise these people, but the situation means I've had less contact with Swedish people than I hoped for or expected. At times it's been easy to forget where I actually am. I don't intend to move back to Rinkeby next time I'm here.

I've met some new people who actually live in Stockholm, and who will be here for the foreseeable future. I feel a bit more connected in Stockholm, and this has been in only a few weeks, so I hope that they'll be more people to come when I get back here. I feel now that I could happily build a life in Stockholm.

I was surprised by how much of the Swedish language I can read and understand, However, before coming here I had no practice actually speaking Swedish. This has been my first experience of hearing and speaking Swedish since I started learning it. I now feel that I should really work on my spoken Swedish, and on understanding others when they speak to me. I'm hoping to find a Swedish person in London to practice speaking with.

Our return in December or January will be long-term. It's a bit of a shame to leave but I think our chances will be better - we know more of what to expect now. Being here with someone else is surely also more pleasant than coming here alone.

So, unless there is something particularly relevant to write, I'll be leaving this blog for a bit until roughly December or January, and I'm sure there'll be lots of unexpected stuff then.