Getting back into it

We've been back in Stockholm for a few days now, and I'm getting back into it. The weather now reminds me so much of being in Finland, it's not what I'm used to, but is also strangely familiar at the same time. This morning when I went outside for a cigarette I almost felt that I was in Turku again. Although we missed Christmas here there are still lots of Christmas trees and lights everywhere, and it makes Stockholm look even more beautiful than usual.

For the last few days we've mainly been exploring because it's all totally new to my boyfriend, and still very new for me. Today we went for a long walk around Södermalm, and I noticed some galleries and art related organisations to look into further. One thing I'm really excited about is the opportunity to bring my work to a new country, as this has been an ambition of mine for a while now. I have previously sold two pieces to a buyer in Sweden, but I've never actually exhibited here. Aside from obvious stuff like finding a job and a place to live, developing my work here is one of my primary aims.

I am so much more confident with language than I was in September, but I'm still a bit nervous with speaking. I did decide whilst I was still in England that I would just speak and speak and speak as much as I possibly can here, and be prepared to make mistakes or make myself look a bit silly. I think I really need to commit to that now.

One issue that I mentioned in September, and which has come up again, is the very frustrating habit many Swedish people have of replying to me in English as soon as they can hear that I have a foreign accent. It feels quite unfair, because this happens when people have clearly understood what I've said in Swedish. For example, in a bar on Saturday I ordered our drinks in Swedish, the barman picked up two beer glasses and then asked me for ID in English, and told me the price in English. I followed the advice I was given by an Irish man I met here in September, and just insisted on replying in Swedish even though he was speaking English. It kind of knocks my confidence a bit because I start to worry that I'm not clear when I speak Swedish, which in turn makes me more anxious about speaking in the first place.

In the same bar we got chatting to a Swedish man, and my boyfriend asked him if he had any idea why people are doing this. His explanation was that there is only one language spoken in this country, and people like having the chance to speak a different language. Unfortunately that makes it sound like this will be happening for as long as I do not have a perfect Swedish accent or until I have a more confident tone of voice. Maybe I should start speaking with a bit more conviction. If anyone reading has any further advice about this I'm keen to hear it, because I am wondering how my Swedish will improve and how I can gain more confidence when I don't always get the chance to actually engage with others in Swedish. I can read and write quite easily, it's getting used to hearing spoken Swedish and having conversations with others that is my problem at the moment. I suppose the only real way around this problem is to keep learning and persevering.

And finally, tomorrow evening I'll be making a final visit to Rinkeby to collect some belongings I left at my old house. It'll be a bit odd to go there again. My boyfriend has now seen the expression on a Swedish person's face when they hear that I used to live in Rinkeby, so I think he's looking forward to this experience with some trepidation.